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Tuesday, July 7, 2020

#INDEPENDENCE

Some mama birds have to push their little fledglings out of the nest when they are ready to fly on their on, but something is holding them back.  I was not one of those.  I was so ready to be on my own and be independent.  After graduating from high school and working just three months in a hospital as a lab technician, I decided to leave home and go to college.  There was no fear or worry, just great anticipation for life.  I don't remember seeking counsel from my parents or receiving any. I just bombarded ahead.

That was my style, full speed ahead.  It was my style with God, too.  I had become a child of God's at the age of 10 and knew He was my Heavenly Father, yet I kind of ignored Him. Growing up going to church twice one Sunday and once or more in the middle of the week had given me lots of sermons and memorizing of scripture and '"knowledge".  I was an independent believer.  But, God didn't want that kind of relationship.  He want a close, intimate, father-child relationship and after 15 years of waiting, He began a serious campaign to get me to want a closer relationship with Him.  It worked and I agreed with Him about what He was convicting me about and took steps to solve the problem, but the bad habits of independence are hard to break.

Some ten years later, I realized that I did not have that intimacy other Christians had with God and took a big leap and sought counsel from another Christian.  She recognized the problem immediately and told me that what I had done with God earlier wasn't to be just a one time thing, but was something that needed to be done daily,  This father-child relationship required frequent talking with one another and getting to know each other.  Of course, God already knows everything about me, but He is infinite and there are not enough hours on earth to get to know Him fully, so every little minute I spend reading His word and telling Him how I feel and asking Him to elaborate only helps me to understand this marvelous Father-God a little bit more.  The independent spirit has developed into a dependent spirit that acknowledges a great need know Him better and better and to love Him more and more and to obey and honor my Father-God.

"I need Thee, O, I need Thee.  Every hour I need Thee."  This is my theme now.

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