"Just doing what comes naturally" - in one word - "Brat." "Free to be me" - in one word - "Spoiled." Given the way the culture of today breeds ideas, it is no wonder that more than one generation has developed a society of spoiled brats not respecting authority. Obedience doesn't come naturally. One obeys out of fear, the fear of punishment, or love, the love of the one in authority.
When Hebrews 5:8 says that Jesus learned obedience by the things He suffered, we know He suffered during His last days on this earth, the earth He had created, but He was 33 years old then and had to grow from being a baby into manhood. He had to start learning obedience early on, as a child. Did Mary ever slap His hand as He was reaching for a cookie? Did she ever have to frown at His actions on the playground? What kind of suffering is the writer of Hebrews referring to?
How does one learn obedience? It can be by trial and error. We try something and the results are hurtful in some way and we learn not to try that again. We learn by heeding the advice of someone who has tried something and learned the hard way and warns us. We learn by reading God's Word and believing what He says is wrong and taking it to heart and denying our own natural inclinations, which can be painful to us, and subjecting ourselves to His authority.
If Jesus, the son of God, had to learn obedience by the things He suffered, do we think we can get away with not suffering in order to learn obedience? If we say no to ourselves, the suffering of the denial of the desire is small compared to the suffering that comes at the end of the satisfying of something wrong for us. Granted, there is some degree of suffering in self-denial, but it is only momentary and reaps huge benefits.
There was no fear of punishment in Jesus. He is love incarnate and loved the authority God had placed Him under. Perfect love casts out fear and when we understand the love God has for us it is so natural to love Him back and then we will wish to submit and will have no fear. Perhaps the best way to teach our children obedience, besides giving them a good example by our own lives respecting authority, is to teach them how much they are loved by God. Reading stories from the Bible of Jesus helping all sorts of people and His teachings and His dying for them, personally, will be the best foundation for building respect in our youth for their love for Him will grow and respect will follow. Then it may be OK to do just what comes naturally because the nature has changed because of learning obedience.
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